I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
