Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
