Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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