Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
