I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize