somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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