people are starting to question the shark bite story
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
