After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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