I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
