I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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