i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
