I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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