My pussy is not your playground.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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