wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
