after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
No more Irish car bombs ever.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
