So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I deserve this hangover.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
