The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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