Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
