The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Did I show you my penis last night?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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