and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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