I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize