youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
