I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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