Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
They took my balls.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
