just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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