The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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