i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
