why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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