I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize