Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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