i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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