everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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