filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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