Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
