Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
