you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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