Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize