Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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