she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize