She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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