she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Randomize
