Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
