Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
