Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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