If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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