I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize