I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
