yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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