bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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