i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
