When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
