Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I just gargled with NyQuil
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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