I want to stick my p in your. b.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize