I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
