I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
