just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
