'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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