I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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