oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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