My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
