we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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