i was rollin on her like bob the builder
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize