I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
