Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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