So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
