I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
