i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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