you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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