his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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