i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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