Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
where are my eyebrows?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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