i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
