I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
