Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
