maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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