U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
