One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
