i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
