you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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