nut hugger
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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