Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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