im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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