lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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